What do leadership and parenting really have to do with each other?!?

Fortunately, most of us have tried what it means to have a really good leader! Namely, one who sees both what we can and who we are – and one who manages to give us the challenges and the support we thrive best with. The perfect leader thus ensures the right amount of motivation, professional sparring, trust, instruction and not least a responsibility that suits our competencies! And what is the difference between a perfect leader and a perfect parent? Two things: Unlimited love and a relationship that is completely independent of money! Yet as a loving, well-meaning parent, there is much to learn from the modern leader.

It requires something very special from us as parents and grandparents to help our children and young people to stand on their own two feet in the health jungle. To help pave the way for a healthy life, where they get every opportunity to choose health in all situations of life. They need both solid, professional health skills, well-equipped reflexes, and they need to feel motivated by the body’s fascinated biology and make it a faithful companion.

Children are (thankfully!) Complex, fun and enriching to be with, and so is our work to support their health. As adults, we must be able to turn on the right ‘buttons’ at different times for e.g. to ensure mutual respect and trust and to avoid resistance and conflict.

If we think of health as a simple task that is communicated in urban form, it is doomed to fail. It requires a focus on both professional competencies, ability to reflect and positive motivation.

Learn from the best leaders!

Believe it or not, modern management theory is actually a really good place to start if you as a parent, grandparent or perhaps a professional in the field of children want a good insight into which ‘buttons’ you can advantageously turn on in different situations for to support the child’s journey towards a healthy life. You can read much more about this in my new book “Sugar Smart Children – who can and will do it themselves” – but let me still unveil some of the basic ideas here.

Within management theory, there is an exciting philosophy and model called ‘Situational leadership’. The model shows which management style (instructive, coaching, supportive, delegating) you as a manager can take advantage of in different situations to best increase job satisfaction, create ownership and nurture the employee’s personal drive and job satisfaction. A concrete distinction is made between four stages in the development of employees with new tasks, each of which requires something different from the manager.

Stage 1: The employee at stage 1 is typically new to the job or new to a specific task. Therefore, the good manager here is mainly instructive, so that the employee will understand the nature of the task as soon as possible – and at the same time gain an understanding of what it takes to solve it.

Stage 2: The employee at stage 2 has learned most of what it takes to solve the task. But with the increasing routine, a bit of curiosity fades, and therefore the good leader here will mainly focus on keeping the motivation high, just as the leader continues to occasionally make the task more exciting through more facts, higher difficulty and more instruction.

Stage 3: The employee at stage 3 is in control of all details that relate to the work with the task, and there is therefore no need for instruction. The good leader therefore primarily focuses here on motivating and on supporting if a need or problem should arise.

Stage 4: The employee at stage 4 is very good at his job, and therefore the manager can easily delegate responsibility and hand over key decisions to the employee. The good manager knows how to step into the background, and at the same time provides space for the employee (who is typically more involved in the task than the manager himself) to perhaps contribute with new and even better solutions.

You are your child’s health manager!

The good news is that you as a parent (and grandparent or childcare professional) can easily ‘translate’ the philosophy and management model and use it actively in your work to build your child’s solid health foundation. It just requires that you see the ‘situational management’ with the health glasses on and of course that you yourself have your own health skills well in place.

In line with situational leadership, in the first stage you have a child who needs instruction and only a little motivation. Your very young child needs you to instruct and choose the food – and you do not present the child with choices other than the ones you cheap.

Your role as a coaching and supportive motivator (stage 2 + 3) can, on the other hand, come into play later in the work of supporting your now slightly older child’s health. With motivating, creative stories and games, you can start teaching the child about food and all the good things it does for our body.

When your child later in his development has all the basic health skills in place and has great faith in his own abilities, you can with advantage – and again in parallel with the situational management – start to delegate the health responsibility (stage 4). You can do this because your child can and will now himself. You can, with a clear conscience, step into the background and give your child space, because he or she has all the competencies to choose health, vitality and enjoyment of life for themselves. And that’s exactly what we want: to help our young people become self-driving enjoyers of life who have the ability and desire to master their own health.

They should not have us and our raised index finger sitting on the shoulder throughout life.

Become much wiser about your role as the child’s food-sensei